9:35 AM
Monday, July 22, 2013
Today.
I finally realised how i lack so much in the knowledge of my own religion.
And i realised how people are unable to know if you've just berhijab or not.
There's no time stamp so any mistakes is considered unforgiveable.
Having being able to be in both shoes,
The non-hijabers get away with so many,
The hijabers are faced with judgements.
I understand where this comes from,
But judgements are for those that knows what they're doing but still continues on.
It should be for those thick-skinned kids who wishes to do as they please.
I wss pretty much upset and still hurt.
I'm new at all of this. I seek guidance and advise,
Not judgements and critics and indirects.
It hurts alot.
It reminded me of why i didnt want to wear hijab in the first place.
The amount of stress.
But i want to be closer to Him.
Its hardet cause i have a chinese boyfriend and we're both learning.
U know the basic technicalities.
Certain things that i have not minded abt the hijabers doing,
Might actually be wrong. But i didnt know.
I dont know how to explain how hurt that sentence was.
What hurts more was that you were very close.
If you wanted yo wait till later to tegur,
Than that tweet could have waited too.
I hope anyone and everyone that reads this.
Pleasr be gentle with hijabers.
There might be those like me, still in the learning process.
And we're trying our best but sometimes there is a limit.
Insyallah. Someday i will be a fully lesrned muslim.
Both by apppearance and nature.
Alhamdulillah.
201312:21 AM
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Its just the start of the year,
Coming to the end of the first month,
And already it feels like a very testing month.
What i feel nowadays is that,
I'm no longer a child,
No longer a girl.
I'm a woman with responsibilities.
I have to take care of myself.
I am tired of being surrounded by drama,
I'm over that period in my life.
All i want and need now is just a partner
That understands all my needs.
New toy, i geddit but it has been 3months.
I feel neglected.
It's like eventhough I'm the busier one out of the two of us,
you're the one who doesn't have time for me.
Or rather shall i say ,couldn't make time for me.
It's time for me to take a step back.
Because after so many times of explaining,
You still don't get why i am so upset.
You always think i'm pms-ing.
If you dont start making an effort,
I WILL leave you, no doubt.
I don't stay somewhere i don't feel loved.
Night shift8:07 AM
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Have been doing revamp for F21 the past 4nights.
Has been super duper tiring and shagged,
But my workmates all from vivo and somerset ah freaking gerek ppl.
HAHAHA
And i have been neglecting my babies for awhile,
And i feel super motherfucking bad.
Imma make up for it this week
I dont care! I want to hug naddie soooo badly!
Haven seen her in a while and i miss her oh so badly!
And as for my love life.. Hmmm.
Hmmm.. Tu jer yang saya mampu memberitahu((:
HAHAHAHA bastard eh.
Bye!
Have been awake since 2pm and now 8am.
Imma head to bed for recharge before heading to work at 3plus!
Goodnight!
Just pure rants.9:40 PM
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
I don't understand why there is a need for you to keep bringing up the past.
Things happened,
And after all that happened i'm still here looking past your flaws and helping you.
So i don't understand your actions.
I get it you were pissed at my actions.
But come on , it has been close to 6 months.
Just let it go.
Its quite a bit frustrating to have people recognising me as 'ohhhh she's the one that did this this and this'
I dont regret my actions.
I never will cause whatever the consequences are, at that point of time i did what i thought was right.
I still believe in my actions.
And what happened 6 months ago,
I still stand by it.
Look, we are still -arguably- friends,
Do not cross the line.
Work1:16 AM
Has been soooo bz with work for the past few weeks.
Not to mention the fucking screwed up papers.
I believe some i will have to resit again. Hais dang.
Anw my fault for not putting in much effort.
Work has been fun, friends made and all.
Its a good time pass(:
Nak quit smoking, tak terjadi pasal sume kaki asap jugak.
LOL!
Have yet to stable myself monetary wise. 😓
Soon la ekh.
CO'11 F21'12 next?
Heheheh nights bitches.
10:39 PM
Thursday, August 23, 2012
So tired of living.
I'm trying so hard.
I'm trying so hard to piece back my life.
Just need some help.
Just need some understanding.
Just need some love.
Just need some good attention.
If youre not gg to help, tolong leave me alone.
Syawal Pertama9:31 PM
Sunday, August 19, 2012
The first day of Syawal started very early for me.
It started at freaking 7am @.@
Put in extra effort to looking good this year (: heehee dah mentel.. LOL
Anw was at Dadima's house by 9am.
Had our forgiveness session there.
And i realised how when youre about to seek forgiveness,
There would be flashbacks going in front of your eyes abt the times
When you mistreated, was rude or lied to you parents.
That made the tears flow alot faster than i thought it would.
I had a terrible migraine at the start of the day.
Felt as if i were to close my eyes, i'll never open them again.
Den i kept on waking up to check that i'm still alive. Hais.
But after a short 10min nap and some food and some laughter, it stopped and i felt alot better(:
Raya this year was much more meriah over at Dad's side. Thanks to the outings that we kept having over the past months.
Definitely brought us closer as a group(:
We had a short photo session and was really glad i brought my polaroid over.
I mean, pictures taken with the camera like not as valuable as the instax ah.
Maybe because i put it in my treasure album.
An album full of memories ❤❤
-reminisce for a moment-
Cant wait for the future gatherings we're planning to have! Yay!!
Anyway went over to mom's side abit late. And saw one of our aunties gg off alr.
Had a huge mixup, cause they used to come late but this year they left early.
Manxzx.
And.. Raya wasnt soo upbeat, due to one of my aunt being in the hospital.
I was being in a very talkative mode after Dad's side,
So i was chatting and trying to make a convo with everyone lah.
And one of my cousin tweeted
"my cousin so friendly. I like ._."
I raged for a moment there.
I was like .. Wtf.
Time raya you acting this way,
Plus did you forget i'm on your freaking twitter. Cb.
Hais. After that my voice started getting worse so i just kept to myself.
People keep telling me i look different.
Mata maken kecik. Wtf.
I makin lawa ok. Accept it!
Hmph! Hehehehe((:
That's all for my first day
And tmr is gonna be back to work for me.
I have no MC to give.. Hais. Ohwells.
